She passed me a note in class. Her number scrawled across it in bold red letters, with the inscription “call me maybe.”
D–n! She had been my crush for two years straight now. I called. She picked.
She asked me, “I see the way you look at me. Wanna have fun?”
My voice shakes like China in an earthquake. My hands refuse to grab the phone. My body floods with sweat.
I replied: “dare me!” trying to play the cool guy.
She sets a date. I mark my calendar.
What she doesn’t know is that I’m a virgin. My stomach turns at the thought. It’s college for Christ’s sake. Virg… What’s that?
I practice my moves. I watch p–n. A lot of p–n.
What if my thing’s not big enough for her? God forbid I fizzle out early. What if she’s had better men?
And the day came. She walked into my dorm, roommate was out. I go over the moves in my head. We kiss. I let my hands roam. Smoothly like in my practice, I pull out a condom. And then she paused.
“Baby please go gentle on me. It’s my first time.”
We were the last virgins standing at Northwestern University.
She pulled me closer. D–n! My hands start to sweat. God! I expected her to be experienced. She should know better, I thought to myself. But no!
She pulls me closer. Our lips touch, my breath ceases.
She’s a virgin! God! A freaking virgin! What if I don’t slide in well on the first try. What if there’s blood. Everywhere.
I closed my eyes. “Go with the flow! Just go with the flow” I heard my brain screaming at me!
I did. She leaned in for a kiss. I kissed back.
I always thought noses collided during kisses. No! This was different. D–n! I was such a prude. I took in the smell of her perfume. It had a tinge of rose. It filled me with longing.
Her hands roamed to where my trouser zip was. D–n! I was so hard. She pressed against me harder.
My body responded harder. She ran her hands through my hair and pulled me over her on the single bed.
Her soft voice came cascading out. “Dave, be gentle”
And then she slid off her thongs.
Thongs! God! Thongs!
She was prepared. What the hell am I gonna do next?
“Dave be gentle! Dave be gentle!” It kept on ringing in my head.
D–n! She really thinks I know what I’m doing.
I’ll just pretend I do. She was looking up to me.
My hands found way between her legs as my lips touched hers. Her thighs came flailing apart. I fumbled with my hands. She pulsed shortly.
That had to be her spot! Her c——s? Maybe.
‘Idiot! You didn’t cut your nails! You’re gonna injure her. You’re gonna injure her.’
My mind was running a marathon around one spot. God! She’s moaning! Is that pleasure or pain? I can’t even tell.
I follow the tutorials as the p–n video replays in my head.
The next thing would be to insert. I slide in perfectly. This doesn’t feel weird at all. The warmth and sensitivity sends me off to space. Gosh! I never want to come out. The feeling’s amazing! I t—-t in and out.
My throat make a guttural sound that was foreign to me. Gosh! I never want this to stop. Never! It gets hotter, her v—-a tightens around me. The pleasure’s heightened. I go deeper. Deeper. Faster! faster!
She arches her back and lifts her head off the bed. She claws at my back. Her body makes seismic movements. She twists and contorts.
And then I shoot!
And then the spray!
I watched as she went limp and collapsed into bed.
I drop off too. D–n! This feels way better than all the years of self-servicing.
And then she asks: “baby, what are we now?”
I ignore. Wait! She was a virgin! There was no blood!
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