TOTO PASS TOTO 21+
Subtitle: F*ck Mark Z.
I ran faster than my legs could carry me, I ‘no even believe say I get that kind speed’.
I ran into a street that I don’t even know it’s name or have I been to, I was getting tired and my brain was telling me to stop running.
Immediately I slowed down a dog started barking, another renew energy descend from heaven.
I took off again with higher speed suspecting that it will be one of those dogs that is owned by those rich men that lived in that area.
Until when I heard some kids laughing behind me, I didn’t slow down.
Voices: look at that uncle, he is running from that little puppy *I no stop until someone grab my hand, fear catch me, I wan punch the person thinking say na Charles*
Biggy: calm down oh! *I drop my hand and hiss* why you dey run like person wey boko haram, herdsmen and militant dey pursue?
Me: Charles na the boko haram and one stupid keke and the driver be herdsmen, while that dog na the militant. *I bend low breathing heavily, my body drench with sweats*
Biggy: which dog you dey talk?
I looked back properly to see a little dog running towards us barking, it was all my imagination playing tricks on me with the bull-dog barking sound.
I picked a stone and aimed at it, it revised quickly and ran back, I took another one and threw at it and it hit the bumbum of the dog.
The dog ran faster and started crying, probably to his or her mama.
I returned back to see Biggy laughing out his ass, he sat on the tarred road laughing madly as tears were at the corner of his eyes, he thought the situation is funny.
Me: see, no ever try wetin you try today. The next time you wan go do this kind business, if you remember me, the kind thunder wey go strike you ehnn! *he get up and look around*
Biggy: what of your car and that my phone nkor? *I hiss*
Me: you for dey see obituary poster of me as we dey talk, sas the obituary poster go be ‘his ass gone so soon’ *Biggy start laughing*
Biggy: but I tell you say make you twuama na, na Charles catch you.
Me: no, the one wey catch me na very aggressive homo, if no be say I dey on God. I for nofit escape, my mama and papa prayers na em safe me.
Dogs: ho! Hooo! Hoooo!! Hoooooo!!!
Biggy and I turned at a time to see numerous dogs running after us, they were not smiling and the growing evening darkness did nothing to conceal their white teeth. They look hungry and ready to pounce on anybody, Biggy bolted immediately and I ran as I have not done any running that day.
We took many turns till we outran the dogs, when we ran into a safe place that we have great hopes that those stupid dogs won’t find us, we stopped to catch our breathes.
We were already at the major roadside, I raised my head and looked around to see myself in Agip flyover, ‘I feel like to slap Biggy for turning that day to running day for me’ my kneels were aching badly, and my legs wobbled ’cause of weakness.
Biggy: why you no enter keke go house instead of to go disturb small dog wey get position for dog community?
Me: I for dey prison or hospital, the idiot keke man jam jeep with tinted glass run leave me as the driver, who knows na army man get that car or worse one ugly rich lady.
Biggy: choi.. Your case for don close, ugly people na one of Nigeria economic and political problems.
Me: sas the dog dey rush us, if na armed robbers them no go fit chase them like that oh! Wey my part for the money?
Biggy: hiaa! You dey vex oh! Make we reach house na.
Me: reach which house? Lai.. Lai… I nodey gree, send the money now now.
He hissed and brought out his phone, I received an alert after some minutes.
I nodded after seeing the money I suffered so much for.
Me: take this car keys, make you and my brother go bring my car.
I turned and heard a conductor calling names of streets, he called my destination and I flagged it down.
The driver slowed down the bus, I hurried towards the bus.
Conductor: oga you dey go?
Me: no be why I stop you?
Conductor: em never reach quarrel, sister adjust. Be serious, driver dey go.
I haven’t even taken my seat when the bus moved, I lost balance and hugged a girl in the bus with my sweaty body.
Girl: Jesus body odour, oga who send you, you have just dirty me.
Me: no vex, abeg… No vex, na the driver ’cause am.
Every one turned to me, some of them were laughing.
They looked back to see who they were laughing at, it was just two people who took pity as the girl humiliated me.
The stupid danfo driver was busy hitting old songs, as the trembling bus was bouncing along with every beats.
I even feared for my soul, luckily for me I got to my junction and took a taxi home.
Immediately I got into my apartment, I entered the shower and had a cool bath, I slept off afterwards.
I was surprised to receive kiss on my lips, I woke up and saw Beauty smiling down at me.
I couldn’t believe my eyes, I rubbed it twice before I mumbled good morning.
Beauty: happy birthday, my love.
Me: thanks, baby. You are very early *she squeeze her face*
Beauty: is eleven a.m, honey *she look at me suspiciously* hold on, who were you with last night? *ajuju*
Me: Biggy took me to a party and got me drunk.
Beauty: God! What a friend, stay away from him already, look I got you a new phone, I will be rushing off to the market to get ingredients to cook for you *abeg oh! No cook for me*
Me: *I smile, na only you go chop am* thanks, honey.
Beauty: anything for my love *naso Beauty carry her wahala waka*
I saw the package she dropped, it was the trending i-phone, I’d have been happy about the gift but today was a bad news for me.
I switched on my data and messages from family and friends started flooding in, text messages from Abigail and from Beauty also and other friends.
I didn’t bother reading them, my mind was on my facebook.
I went to whatsapp and both my lovely girlfriends have my picture as their profile picture, I smiled to myself am a lucky dude, I never reach man.
I logged into my facebook and my heart started loading too, at my facebook news feed is me and Abigail in a romantic position, she tagged me and wrote sweet things on it.
While Beauty own was the worse, the picture she uploaded can make someone c*m, she wore a bumshort and I was shirtless, she only wore what covered her b*oobs everything was on full display, I couldn’t even remember when we took those pictures she is uploading.
And she tagged me, I was very worried about both of them seeing these pictures, the likes was over 5k. I meant the one Beauty uploaded, Abigail’s own was just over 3k, I wasn’t pleased at all.
I sat on the bed thinking, am confused.
I didn’t know when Beauty came back, i started hearing sounds of plate.
I got up from the bed and went to brush my teeth, I had my bath and returned to the kitchen.
She was preparing egusi soup with meats and fishes everywhere, this egusi soup again.
The aroma was nice, I strategize a plan for Beauty and I to leave the house.
I will seduce her and the food will get burnt, then both of us will leave the house happy ending, my d*ck rose in my boxer.
I walked to the kitchen and hugged her from behind and placed my hard on, on her *ss.
I kissed her neck and s*cked on her ear, she let out a m*an.
Beauty: naughty boy, am cooking.
Me: don’t say no, I missed you so much. I cannot wait to have you.
I whispered those words and grabbed her br*asts from behind, she turned and kissed me, I sweep her off the floor into my arms and carried her to the bed.
She wore a bumshort that has army design, with white shirt.
She took off her shirt and we resumed the kissing, I unclasped her br* and it dropped on the bed.
I wanted the food to get burnt, so I quickly placed my mouth on her n*pples.
We were both lost in our s*xual world, but a voice brought me back and a sound of something dropped behind us.
I looked back and saw Abigail in tears with a big cake scattered on the floor, I was shocked but Beauty was surprised.
TOTO PASS TOTO 21+