TOTO PASS TOTO 21+
Subtitle: F*ck Mark Z.
I didn’t even know what to do again, I stared at my phone for few seconds after I view her message, I breathed out the confusion and my thumbs hovered on the keyboard in my screen.
Me: Sweet, I thought you said I should remove it? *I reply*
Abigail: I never said so. *her message*
Me: okay, am sorry. I thought you did. *I reply*
Abigail: ehnn.. I don’t like that picture, use this one. This one is finer than the other one, those little girls should back off *a photo with footnote, her message*
I was still battling with the confusion at hand when Beauty hawked her ‘wahala’ to my market.
Beauty: baby, I want you to put my picture on your profile, I love you so so much *she send a photo with footnote*
Me: wetin I do these girls na?
My brain was very hot that I didn’t even know what to do anymore, I switched off my data and removed the battery including the sim card.
My secretary walked in…
Secretary: sir, is time.
Me: make we dey go *I exhale and stretch myself yawning*
Secretary: sir, what happened to your phone? *this one will not mind her business*
Me: I dey do experiment.
I headed out and she came running behind, I walked directly to the interview room and took my supposed seat.
I exhaled when I saw ten files on the table, I scanned the files and learnt that two girls survived the hard test by the accounting team.
I signaled my secretary to invite the first person on my list, I kept my stare constantly as the first applicant opened the door and stepped in, he shut the door behind him.
He was unnerved by my stare as he shook with freight, he stood before me instead of having a chair.
Me: who are you and what are you doing here? *I bark at him*
Applicant: si..r s…ir *his lips start dancing awilo* am .. Here for the interview.
That is how he lost his opportunity to be the accountant of the industry, he dearth wit.
The next person came in, he looked like a criminal but perhaps an educated one, all those people that can rob you and you will thank them for doing good things, he sat after greeting me.
I remained silent as I studied him, my constant stare at him made him look at himself instead of facing me, that alone gave him in.
Me: what did you take this morning? *I ask calmly*
Applicant2: I had bread and tea as breakfast *this one can lie!*
Me: and wetin that one dey give for body?
Applicant2: is advisable we should take light food in the morning.
That is how he failed, that was never an answer to my question.
I nodded and acknowledged his wit and manliness.
Me: we will get back to you.
He stood up and left, another applicant came in.
His timid nature and his glasses showed that he is one of those guys that love reading more than anything, I don’t like boring people.
Me: you don’t look like John *I watch him calmly*
Applicant3: I am John, sir.
Me: what makes you John?
Applicant3: I am recognized as John, and my parents gave me that name.
Me: I do not recognize John as you, what if your parents never gave you that name, would you still be John?
Applicant3: I will go by the name am recognized with sir. *I nod, he has just fail*
Me: wetin you chop this morning? *he adjust his eyeglass, habit and it is disrespectful*
Applicant3: garri and soup *this one wan come sleep for here*
Me: we will message you.
He took his leave and I was left with just two files, and they are all female.
One of the girls stepped in, she was looking dangerous with her make-up and the gods are no friendly eyelashes, I adjusted uncomfortably on my office chair.
She is pretty but her crave for artificial discredit her partially.
She greeted humbly and had her seat.
Me: you don thief before? *she look confuse and shake her head*
Applicant4: I have never steal before, I am a christian and my doctrine preached against that.
Me: alright, we will definitely get back to you in due time.
She had failed woefully, there is no child born in Nigeria that had not steal, knowingly or unknowingly. Stealing is not just forcefully acquisition of someone’s property by threatening his or her life, but taking someone’s property without his or her knowledge and consent, scamming follow sha..
She left and I checked the remaining file, it was a girl and her name is Cynthia.
I looked at her passport and her facial out-look wasn’t actually attractive, the door opened and a very I mean very beautiful girl walked in like her ‘royal majesty’.
Peruzzi talk say ‘come and see the mermaid’, my breathe left the window as I stared at the passport and her in person interchangeably.
I swallowed hard as she gave her professional smile displaying a very white teeth, I cleared my throat and stared at her very hard, but she looked back unshaken.
Her beauty gave her confidence.
Me: have you steal before?
Applicant5: yes, sir. But I cannot remember how many times and how I did.
Me: why are you pretty?
Applicant5: I don’t see myself as someone pretty, thank you if you see me as such *she knock me off with her smartness*
Me: we will call you.
Applicant5: thank you, sir.
Me: call in my secretary.
She left and my secretary walked in, she was looking at me somehow somehow, sniffling like dog that has smelt roasted shit.
See this woman oh!
Me: go buy me a new phone and another sim.
Secretary: alright, sir.
She took the money and left, I came out of the interview room and went to my office and sat down.
I slept off and some minutes later my secretary woke me, I inserted the new sim in the new phone and recharged it using my bank.
I downloaded facebook and whatsapp into it, and saved only Abigail’s number.
I switched on my other phone and took the picture there without the sim card ofcourse,
I sent the pictures to the new phone, I uploaded Beauty’s picture as my facebook profile picture and Abigail as my whatsapp profile picture and sent her a message, since her phone number was the only number saved in the new sim card.
She wasn’t online so I dialed her number, it rang four times before she finally picked.
Abigail: hello, who is on the line?
Me: sweet, how are you?
Abigail: Vic, is that you?
Me: yes, my love.
Abigail: what happened to your phone, I tried calling you a million times but it wasn’t going through.
Me: I for don die by now sef.
Abigail: god forbid!
Me: amen oh, armed robbers attacked me and robbed me.
Abigail: did they hurt you, hope you are fine?
Me: am not oh! I just dey come back from hospital.
Abigail: jeez.. I dey come… I am coming over after work, sweet. *my heart skip*
Wetin I do god of lie? Make person help me ask am.
TOTO PASS TOTO 21+