TOTO PASS TOTO 21+
Subtitle: F*ck Mark Z.
I was so ashamed of myself that I choked back the words I wanted to say as an excuse for premature ejaculation.
She glared at me angrily, I put up a confused face.
Beauty: fine, fine, let’s get it up… I need it running in and oummnt of my w*t p*ssy.
Me: will it get up?
She looked at me like someone who has gone insane and scoffed, she wrapped her soft palm around my sleeping member and j*rked slowly, instead of it sending sweet sensation down my spine, it sent the opposite and I gnashed my teeth in pain.
Beauty: is not showing any sign that it will rise… Vic, what….
Voice: sis, what are you doing in with that gentle man? I need to eat quickly, am famished.
Beauty: dress up, my kid sister won’t let us be anytime soon.
I wore my trouser like someone who has lost olympic medal after flexing so much confidence of winning, Beauty quickly opened the door and met the gaze of her kid sister who looked at us suspiciously tilting her head side to sides,
She squat before her and pecked her cheeks.
Beauty: follow me, let’s go down and eat.
Annabel: is he not coming with us? *pointing at me*
Beauty: he is my boyfriend, he has no choice. He have to taste what he taught me. *I chuckle uneasily*
Can my day be any worse, I would have to be forced to eat what Beauty cooked, it should better taste good. I don’t want to be in a renewed relationship with toilet, the last time I did.
I earned the duty of washing the toilet so that I can use it, since the one that should be washing the toilet insist he wanted to wash it that time, and I had no choice but to take his stead.
Beauty looked back and her eyes sent loads of messages, she giggled and I realized she was laughing my inability to last long for the first time, maybe am looking like someone who has ’caused the death of his parents.
We sat on the dinning table that Beauty had arranged earlier, she dished the meal.
And I had to say, the egusi soup look rich with the varieties of meats and fishes in it, everything looked so delicious that I could not wait to get down on the plates.
I washed my hands quickly did not realize that Annabel was looking at me all along until…
Annabel: are you that hungry, lets pray before we eat.
Beauty: what is wrong with you Annabel, have you lost it?
Me: let her be, Annabel lead us in prayer, *little witch fa!*
I have to close my eyes, thank God I shifted the responsibility of praying from me oh! Were we are even start from, I always prayed to God to have mercy on me.
I cannot even remember when last I prayed ’cause I have been avoiding troubles, my God is a merciful God and I always called on him when I needed mercy upon my life.
She started praying from one topic to another, blessing the provider and removing curses from our life. Deleting poisons from the food, praying blablabla… I started yawning ’cause my stomach was not finding the situation funny, finally she ended the prayer and I shouted a very loud ‘amen’.
We opened our eyes, and I was expecting both of them to wash their hands and eat.
Instead, they picked up their table knife, fork and their blablabla… While I used the Africa garri tools that is like no other, I washed my hands jejely and cut my garri, folded it into a mighty ball rolled on the soup scooping some facilitator that can enable you finish seven wraps of fufu and still not be satisfied, I was ready to throw the mighty garri morsel inside my mouth to roll down to my stomach…
Annabel: why are you using your hands? *she look like someone who has shit plaster on her face, who be this kid?*
Me: I prefer the Africa way of eating, you will not enjoy the meal more than I will do.
Beauty: Annabel, you are getting out of hands, I will send you back to granny if I hear more words from you.
That is how the growing witch with wings finally shut up, my heart leaped in happiness.
Annabel: uff! Sis, it taste horrible *vomiting morsel of garri*
Beauty: what do you mean? The soup taste great, baby, how does it taste? *my garri morsel was hanging all along*
Me: *my heart start beating fast* I have not taste it.
She raised her eyebrows in expectantly, I threw the souped morsel into my mouth and the taste seems different from what I knew as egusi, I could not fathom the taste at all, I didn’t know where to place the problem.
Everything taste burnt, it was like offerings offered to the gods.
Beauty: how is it baby? *she look nervous*
Me: ahh! Umh.. It taste great for beginner *I have to lie as I beam my squeezed face*
Annabel: I cannot eat this *rich pikin, why you no go sharp mouth. Come my house come talk this thing, iffa hear, you no go eat that night again*
Annabel left the dinning, and I was forced to fill my stomach with what I will never agree to eat even in nightmare so that I will not disappoint her second time.
She was beaming with her shiny thirty two dentition which added another tooth when I washed my hands and complimented her for a work well-done.
She cleared the dishes, and I checked my time.
It was crawling to 8pm already, I decided to leave so that history will not repeat itself.
She came back and saw me standing at the centre of the sittingroom.
Me: baby, I have to go…
Beauty: *she look sad* why? I thought you are staying over.
Me: I did not plan for that, and I cannot allow my sister to be the only one to stay in that house all by herself. *Annabel appear with a plate in hand*
Beauty: have a nice night, my love.
Annabel: is he leaving, sis… I was thinking he will stay over and play with me.
Me: I will next time, Anne. Goodnight love.
We hugged and we shared kiss, I pecked Annabel and find my way out of the house.
Immediately I exited the house a sudden bliss brushed pass me and my stomach became heavy, I felt the urge to sh*t.
Going back is a bad idea, I can hurriedly get home and use the toilet, I waved down a taxi and hopped in.
I did not know if it was my sight that deceived me or my brain, the car was moving like tricycle and the driver spitted all over were he faces engaging all the passengers in unwanted discussion, especially me that sat in front with him.
I was in heavy discomfort as I endured the shit hanging in my buttocks.
Driver: oga na so life dey oh, if no be say I get sense, na so I for loose this car wey dey help my life *I throw my face to the window escaping flying spits* if na you, wetin you go do?
Me: I no know oh! *this man leave me na*
He started another conversation with someone else when I refused to answer him anymore, I was busy counting houses to get to the next junction.
It took years of training that I did not drop the shit in the car, I quickly paid and boarded the next bus.
The bus was jumping instead of running, as my buttocks was bouncing on the seat, I lost the control over the shit, I started hitting the bus for him to stop so I can look for where to shit since we are in bushy part.
Me: I wan drop here! Driver!! Conductor, I wan stop here!!!
Conductor: we nofit stop here, na night be this. Them dey thief here well well…
Voices: abeg drive oh, oga you be thief why you wan drop here? No stop oh! Na so robbery dey take start.
Me: *see wahala oh!* na you go tell me where I go stop, when I don shit for your bus, your eyes go open *I shout on top my voice*
TOTO PASS TOTO 21+