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TOTO PASS TOTO (18+) – Episode 10




Subtitle: F*ck Mark Z.
-Episode 10
Immediately I got to the yard, PHCN brought their light.
Voices: Nepaaaaaa!!!
Children were running helter-skelter in jubilation, immediately PHCN took the light everywhere became quiet.
I laid on my bed thinking of what to use the money for, the light still came back but this time everyone was quiet. They are scared of chasing the light away with their screams.
I was so confused on what to use the money for and slept around 11pm thinking, I woke up very late the next day and came to brush.
The children of the yard have already left for school.
Papa Jo: who is that incorrigible lad?
Me: Papa Jo, good morning. *Continued brushing*
Papa Jo: you have been dilly-dally with the money you have, I knew all along that you dearth investor insight. I hereby selflessly volunteer myself to proffer free tuition on a puny fee.
Me: snake! Snake!! for your leg. * shouting pointing at his legs*
Papa Jo: jesus! Jesus!! *Jumping and landed inside the gutter*
Me: oga sorry, oga sorry *whistling and left him silent inside the gutter*
I was busy surfing blogs when I saw vacancy advertisement, I checked the location of the soap industry and it was close to were I live with my location GPS.
I decided to draft a letter of application, after flipping dictionary and an English text book I bought some Months ago without opening, I drafted an application letter worth reading.
I used my laptop and submitted my application letter via mail, thank God for technology.
Biggy came around in afternoon and I noticed his left hand frequent his boxer, I cooked rice and decided for both of us to eat in same place.
We were eating the rice when his left hand wanted to disappear inside his boxer, I caught his left hand sharply.
Me: even when we dey eat too, you wan still do DJ work, why you dey scratch like this?
Biggy: I no know, sweetie dey do me. My balls and my prick dey scratch me. *I removed the plate of rice when his hand went back to scratching*
Me: na virgin Sandra change your future from CS to SB, ready make we enter hospital.
Biggy: guy my still eat small, I never belle full.
Me: go wash hand for tap, no use any bowl for inside oh. before you go inflict me with Sandracious scratching *he hissed and stood up, and went outside*
I quickly devoured the food, I choked twice but a cup of water was beside me to dilute the food.
He came back to see that I have finished the plate of rice he saw earlier.
Biggy: oboy you no try oh, which kind wickedness be this?
Me: em no reach wetin Sandra do you, shebi you say she too fine to give you STD, I know say that girl get HIV.
Biggy: you dey lie abeg, em fit be our yard toilet. That toilet na em do me this sweety.
Me: dey there na, make we dey go.
Both of us came out of the house, he insisted on going to a pharmacy but I disagreed strongly that we should go to the general hospital because of HIV test. Those guys, even if you tell them you have headache they will quickly suspect you of having HIV.
After we saw the doctor and complained to him, he asked us to go and have a test. Biggy wasn’t aware that the test was HIV test, so he went ahead and paid three hundred naira to the lab. Lady.
Biggy: here cheap oh, test three hundred naira! *He exclaimed*
Me: na government thing na, we the masses are the owners *some minutes later the lady returned*
Nurse: Dike Biggy, how many girlfriend do you have? *Biggy started sweating on his forehead*
Biggy: am s..ingle.
Me: my friend is a polygamous boyfriend *laughing*
Nurse: unprotected s+x isn’t good ’cause of HIV, we should avoid sharing sharp objects too. Having HIV virus isn’t the end of life, and avoid sex.
Biggy: Jesus!! Jesus!!! Nurse, I get HIV?
Nurse: calm down young man, we should love those with the virus. And there are lot of people that have the virus and are living a happy life, we sell the drugs for substantial fee. *Biggy was sweating and shaking*
Biggy: tell me say na lie *I told him to calm down*
Nurse: well.. you are HIV negative *she said and left us*
Biggy: may amadioha visit you and your family, she for don kill me.
Me: na so life be *Biggy was uncertain*
Biggy didn’t allow us to return the paper to the doctor, to prescribe drugs for us. He forced us to go back home, on our way…
Biggy: negative mean say I no get am bah?
Me: you deaf? You no hear all the thing the nurse dey talk? Say HIV isn’t the end of the world. Negative mean say you get am, positive mean say you no get am.
Biggy: ewoooo!! *He sat on the road throwing the paper*
He started lamenting like a madman, I was enjoying the show laughing happily.
Biggy: oboy, na joke you dey joke *holding my shirt*
Me: before? wetin you been think *laughing loud*


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For improvement, we have gradually moved to a new website. All  ongoing stories and new stories will continue there.