(An edited & longer version. Signed book)
✍️ Sha Ron ✍️
I told him that I wouldn’t stay long outside, I just want to take a little walk and see if I will be able to clear my head, the evening air might be able to help me out.
It was refreshing, I ran for a while and stopped to walk, I even laughed at my stupidity, what was I thinking? True love with my cousin? Who does that?
The road was lonely, just a few people passed by, some were a couple taking a stroll, I walked into a shop near a junction to buy a sachet of water, and a few boys sat there.
They were busy talking about something they were watching on Netflix, I was about walking out of the shop when a guy came around.
“Hi, do you mind if I talk to you?” He said smiling at me, I looked him up and down and continued walking but towards my uncle’s house this time.
“Hey babe! My name is Joe, I’m talking to you” he patted my arm this time as he followed me. I noticed his friends looking at us and mocking him because he couldn’t get my attention.
Nice, they placed a bet on it, I see, who knows if that’s what Chris did with his friends and he won the bet if that’s the case.
“Excuse me?” I raised an inquisitive brow at him when he came to stand right in front of me.
“I’m talking to you, babe. Don’t make me look like a fool or am I dressed abnormally?” He wore a serious face at once, his friends just got a hold of him. This is a lot of trouble, I finally got myself into a mess, which way out now?!
“I don’t want to talk to you, don’t you get it? Please, excuse me” I tried walking past him angrily but he grabbed my arm violently.
“Get your hands off me!” I struggled to free myself but he jerked me against himself and his friends came to surround us with smirks on their faces.
What? These people are making fun of me? Even the shop owner was laughing and some people around only folded their hands and watched, this is the real deal!
I don’t even know this place or anyone around here, what will I do now?
The only person that came into my mind is Chris, oh God! Where’s Chris?
“When a girl tells you to get your filthy hands off her… it means leave her alone!”
Speaking of the devil! I’m sure that’s his voice, he pushed through the boys and gave the tough guy that’s holding me a stern look.
“Are you letting her go or should I teach you how to let go?” He fused with a clenched chin and I noticed that he’s grinding his teeth and his hands are curled into a ball.
If he throws a punch at him in that mood, this guy won’t eat any other Christmas meat for the rest of his life.
“And who the hell are you to order me around?!” What’s his name again? I think he said…Joe, too much of a jerk. Really a big jerk Joe! Playing tough will definitely make you a loser.
I trust Chris, yes! I believe in my Chris and I…no! I shouldn’t be thinking like that, who knows if his friends will beat him up if he tries fighting for me as he’s about to, I can perceive his anger.
“I’m loving this! Common, you guys should show us what you have got!!” Someone jeered from the group.
Oh Gosh! This had created such a big scene, why did I come out in the first place? Chris came forward and pushed the boy away from me, he took my hand and held firmly waiting for his next move.
Joe was caught by his friends and a little space was created during the process. I had thought Chris was going to wait for him to get back on his feet so they would have a big fight…
But, he disappointed me big time! He made sure he held my hand tight and zoomed! He sped off through the space with me, I was a bit confused at first but I ran with him all the way, I didn’t need to be told what to do.
As we ran back towards the house, I turned around to see some of the boys running after us. I ran with all my strength as his long legs increased their pace. He really has a lot of energy.
He ducked into a dark street that had too many houses built close to one another, he pushed me against the wall of a fence and urged me to squat down while he covered me with his body.
After some time, the boys stopped right in front of us but they couldn’t see us because it’s too dark. They looked around to see if they would get a glimpse of us.
“Where…where did they go?!” Joe gasped, taking in quick breaths.
“How could we lose…them just like that!” One of the boys choked and held his heart as if it’s paining him, if it is, it serves him right.
I peered at them through Chris’s shoulder, my heart pounded so hard that it hurted out of fear, what if they see us? God please! I held him tight with shaky fingers when one of them came towards us.
“George, let’s go back, I’m tired.” One of them called him back and they all went back towards the shop.
I felt Chris’s heart rise and fall in relief as he slumped to the ground in front of me, I sat down on the ground too and released a deep breath.
“Are you okay?” He asked, reaching for my hand.
I didn’t push him away when he drew me close, I laid my head on his shoulder and whispered a thank you to him, what could I have done if he didn’t show up? I didn’t know he was following me.
“Hope he didn’t hurt you?” He asked worriedly again as he touched my arm lightly.
“I’m fine,” I said amidst tears.
“You are crying? I’m so sorry, Jenny. I never meant to hurt you, I have my reasons for…”
“I don’t care anymore, Chris. We had only been sinning and I think it’s best if we end it now that it’s not yet too late” I cut him off.
“Wh–what are you saying? Jenny, we…”
“Chris, please! Don’t make this harder for me, let’s just accept the fact that we can’t be together no matter what, we…we just…have to stop and the time to do that is now” I pulled myself away from him.
“Jen, we made a wish…we…we made magic together…we made promises, if it’s about Lisa…”
“Chris!” I stood up and closed my ears with my palms. “This isn’t easy for me either, even if you had anything to do with that girl I still feel the same about you but we just…have to stop the madness already!”
He stood up and tried to touch my face but I moved his hand away, “Jenny, I have been trying to tell you that Lisa and I don’t have anything together, we… common, Jen, you know I love you and I can’t betray you like that!”
“I love you too, Chris, but I can’t continue anymore, all this is just my fault, it’s my fault that everything got out of hand, I’m going back home” I said and the last sentence really hit him hard.
“No! You can’t go like this!! If you want me to ask that girl to leave, I will do just that, whatever you want I will do it…” He scratched his head and reached for me again.
I gave him a push and distanced myself inches away from him, he hit the wall of the fence and sobbed, “what about everything we shared?!”
Is he really crying for me? I wanted to reach for him and tell him that I was just playing around, I wanted to kiss away his pain but I have to fight my emotions and let him go for good. Our good.
“It was simply sweet sex, something any girl and boy attracted to each other will do, it’s going to be nothing more than memories that we will choose to remember or forget… there’s nothing attached to it”
Seriously? Is that all there’s to it? No! I love him, really so much. So dearly. It hurts to say that to him and he’s really broken right now, I pray he sees reasons and forgives me.
“Really? No strings attached to it you mean?! How about this…” He jerked me against himself and crushed his lips on mine, my head spun, I went weak against him and returned his kiss fervently.
He lifted his face after some while and asked, “how about that? Isn’t it true?”
I laid my head on his chest and cried like a child, “please, let me go, Chris. We have to do the right thing” I wailed.
“Let’s go home together” he said and lifted my face so I would look at him, I shook my head and he said, “then, you are going nowhere”
“Chris… please” I begged weakly, I’m tired of all that’s happening, how does one explain that? “I talked with my parents over the phone and am sure they must have called your father to tell him about my decision to go home” I explained further.
“How will I be able to live without you, I…”
I placed a finger on his lips and shut him up.
“You have always lived without me, we can do this, I’m already afraid of the fact that I might be pregnant” I refused to admit that I can’t live without him as well.
“That would even be better, I wouldn’t have to beg you to stay anymore, I will just get married to you immediately” he said hurriedly.
“Huh! We are cousins for Christ’s sake!” I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in astonishment.
“Does that really matter? What matters is the love we have for each other and…”
“Chris! Love? That love might die one day and that love will only expose us to danger, don’t you get it?”
“My love for you will never die, Jenny! Please, believe me and don’t go, you are breaking my heart with your words!”
I moved away from him and started walking towards my uncle’s house.
“Your parents and your new wife might be wondering where we are now” I said as he followed me sluggishly.
“I won’t forgive you if you leave, Jen” he said and stopped walking suddenly, when I looked at him, he added, “Tell them you didn’t see me” he took another path.
“Chris, where are you going?” I felt sad and worried about him, he might do something stupid and I can’t bear to see him hurt.
“I’m going to be fine, don’t worry” that’s all he said and he didn’t even look at me again.
I watched his back as he departed from me and I felt my heart go with him while I stood pinned to the ground and hurt for us.
When he disappeared into the streets, I turned and forced myself to walk home. I cried all the way and I kept praying he wouldn’t act rash.
I got home and found no one in the sitting room. I thought it’s even better because I’m not ready to talk to anyone. I went into my room and I was about to close the door when Lisa’s face appeared.
“Hi” she said and looked at my face confidently, I was the one hiding my face so she wouldn’t guess I was crying, she walked in before I even invited her inside.