Me: I dey laugh you, when you dey ride her like horse and she dey shout like someone wey dey possess you no need help.
Ugochukwu: bro, you know say I never beg you for idea before. I really need your help.
Me: the best thing na to order for ice cream, then find way bury the medicine inside the ice cream.
Ugochukwu: how the drugs go come dey effective if you don bury am for ice cream finish?
Me: so, wetin you suggest? Make we hire gun then bring the drug and water. Force her to drink at gun point or her life?
Ugochukwu: I go send Jack to buy the ice cream, the drugs already dey house. Na since morning I dey beg the babe to take the drugs, she no gree.
Me: since morning? Your sperm never complete the journey already?
Ugochukwu: my sper-m no sharp like me.
Me: I see I lie on the bed and yawn loudly I wan eat.
Ugochukwu: you dey tell me as your servant or chief chef?
Me: you no go believe wetin Aisha tell me to do before I go see my pikin.
Ugochukwu: I will not be surprise after all she is WWW.
Me: wetin you mean by WWW?
Ugochukwu: she be the wickedest of all the wicked witches, nobody fit drag that position with her.
Me: I shake my head and sigh the woman want make I marry her.
Ugochukwu: he start laughing them warn you say make you stay away from your mother mate, you talk no. The older the sweeter laughing hahaha.
Me: just to change the topic you never call Jack make em go buy the ice cream oh, dey there dey laugh like mumu.
Ugochukwu: oh! true, I dey come.
He got up and left the room, I had time to think for myself. I wonder what I should do to take away the child from Aisha, is court not a better option than using violence. Because all those gorillas in her house hmm.. Let me don’t talk first, I was still thinking the line of my action when my phone rang.
I brought it out of my pocket and the caller was Veronica, my baby for life. I failed to call her first, I allowed the call to die and I called her instead.
Me: hello, you don reach. I was worried?
Veronica’s voice: Jesus Christ, Victor.
Me: ehnn… wetin Victor do again?
Veronica’s voice: I wan do you something.
Me: me too, I wan do you something for bed. I have been watching po-rn lately, em get one position I see, you go like am.
Veronica’s voice: shut up! I wan flog your yansh.
Me: why na?
Veronica’s voice: why you no call me since?
Me: na you suppose call, but na me call you instead because my love for you high pass weed.
Veronica’s voice: swear, say you no see my missed call.
Me: missed call? I no see any missed call oh.. You sure say you nodey dream about me.
Veronica’s voice: I will catch you, I still dey office. Call you later, chop kisses.. muaawww muaaww!
Me: which off…
The line went dead, I wan ask her which office she dey work. This girl matter have tire me I swear, the door opened and Ugochukwu walked in.
Ugochukwu: so wetin you wan do about your pikin, you wan marry her?
Me: are you still using the sense the fowl gave you or you are using the one God gave you?
Ugochukwu: dey answer me with question oh! until that woman turn your life upside down.
Me: she nofit do anything, I go drag her go court. After all she don give me DNA wey show say the pikin na my own.
Ugochukwu: start laughing hahahaha when laughing madness enter this one? hohoho! is like you no know that woman at all, you don go enter devil first daughter net.
Me: wetin make her devil first daughter?
Ugochukwu: that woman get money scatter, she be one of the richest woman for this Country. Not only that, guess what?
Me: talk abeg my heart start beating fast
Ugochukwu: her relatives are all politicians in power, and wetin go shock you be say army chief na her brother, the worse be say her families just dey control Nigeria army. Where you wan start from?
Me: from court.
Ugochukwu: you don forget say na rape allegation them take beat sense commot from your body?
Me: wetin you mean?
Ugochukwu: chuckling the evil woman fabricate lies for police finish, so that in case in the future you wan drag her go court for the child custody.
Me: why you no tell me since.
Ugochukwu: wetin you for do?
I was shocked and weak, I laid on the bed and gave up. I never knew someone with devilish mechanism on Earth like this do exist, no wonder she called herself the garden of Eden apple, very wickkkkkeeeeeedddd woman.
Me: I no know.
Ugochukwu: avoid that woman if you wan win this general election in peace, meanwhile I don send Jack to bring the ice cream.
Me: you go go meet Alicia, tell am say you want make she be the mother of your children. Say your sense no been correct when you tell am to take the drugs.
Ugochukwu: bad guy.
Me: my follow you.
Ugochukwu: are you scared?
Ugochukwu: ghost of Aisha.
Me: isn’t funny.
I hissed and he roared in laughter, I wonder when this guy start to laugh like certified idiot, is alright. He opened the door and stepped into the hallway.
Me: but wait Ugo, how you take get all these information about Aisha?
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