Mum could not fulfil her promise to come home every weekend. Some months, she only came once and sometimes twice. I became hostile in the house and everyone knew something was wrong but no one among my sisters was matured enough to investigate further.
I perfected my plans to poison my dad but that was not easy. On two occasions, I had planned to put the poison in his food but I will discard it again. Seeing him got me irritated. I wished he could die of accident or one mysterious thing but none of these happened.
For three months, I rarely talk to my dad even though we lived under the same roof with me. All the time mum visited, she never suspected anything because I put up pretentious attitudes that looked like all was well. I will enter my shell again as soon as she returns back to Ibadan.
My dad became depressed because of the happenings around. Nike that used to be his close friend became his arch enemy. My sisters started withdrawing from him because they saw me withdrew too. My dad became an addicted drunkard. He started going to club houses just to suppress his depression. I pitied him and talk to him casually. Life returned back to him and he began to pick up again. But our relationship had gone sour. He was buying me different gifts just to pacify me but all that was nothing. My desire to take his life got stronger by the day. I was loosing concentration in school because of what my dad did to me.
On Sunday, our pastor gave a powerful sermon on “forgiveness”. He highlighted seven reasons why forgiveness will do you good than whom you are forgiving. The sermon was so touching that I had no option than to drop my murderous plan. Pastor made an altar call for those who need grace to forgive those who had hurt them. I jumped out and he prayed for us. The prayer was like lifting a heavy rock off my chest. I became light and free. I wish I could die that moment and just go to heaven straight to rest from the trouble of this world. I got home that day and prepared my dad’s favourite food just to communicate my forgiveness to him. Nike, I am grateful you have forgiven me; he held my hand as I served him his food to whisper to my ear.
On Monday, my dad bought me a big phone he ordered from the UK. He knew how much I desired to own a phone but mum will not allow him buy me one. This girl is too young to own a phone, mum had warned dad several times. If you buy her a phone I will smash it on the floor, mum threatened. She insisted none of us will own a phone until we are eighteen. But all my friends in school have phones yet they concentrated on their studies. It was never a distraction like mum painted. I loved the phone dad bought for me because all my friends in school who had intimidated me with theirs began to respect me when they saw mine.
I was enjoying my phone for three months and mum didn’t know I own a phone. When she’s around I put it off, remove the battery and hide it all through until she had gone.
As I was gaining my dad’s confidence, he struck again. This time he drugged me and raped me. In my sleep I had a dream a man came and force himself into me. He beat me up after he raped me and warned me never to tell anybody again or else he will kill me with his machete. In the dream, I cried in pain until I woke up and noticed the pain all over my body. I couldn’t lift my hands nor legs. My dad did it again.
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