I live in a compound of 5 tenants minus the
landlord and his family. My landlady is an
Ikwerre woman, a voluptious average
bodied woman with a nice set of racks.
She has 1 boy and 3 girls. All are grown.
This woman seem to be the heart of our
problem in the compound. Her husband is a
cool man who overlooks simple things but
this woman will fight for everything to
make sure everyone understands that it is
her compound. Everything…..water, parking
space, light bill, etc. I never really found
myself in such a situation with her cos I
always tried to keep to myself. And she’s
got pretty daughters that benefitted
generously of her body type but I do not
talk to them other than the regular
greetings. Though I know that they like
greeting me afterall i’m a young guy living
in their compound but I seem not to want
to be chatty with them.
I like two of the daughters especially the
eldest who’s a couple of years older than I
am, then the last daughter as well. I know
they like me too cos I’ve seen their glances
and the way they linger around when they
greet me or come to my house for
something, hoping we might strike a

One day, I parked my car in the landlady’s
parking spot and travelled cos it came up
suddenly. I was away for 5 days before I
went back home. I just got back that
afternoon and met an empty and quiet
compound. I put on the tv, took off my
clothes and was about to hit the shower
when a knock on the door redirected my
route. I opened it and saw the least person
I expected to see…… (you guessed right),
my landlady. She wore a blue blouse and a
wrapper around her waist. Surprised, I
greeted her and she greeted me back and
asked simply “why did you park your car in
my space when you knew you were
travelling?” I told her that I was sorry and
that the journey came up abruptly, and that
I was in such a rush to even think.

I could see that she was furious and I
added more soothingly that I’ld move it
right away. She seemed satisfied with my
apology and smiled, then asked me how
trip was and she hope I brought something
back. I told her that the trip was fine and
that I did (even though I didn’t have anyone
in mind when I bought the fruits and other
stuff i came back with).
I invited her in and headed straight to the
kitchen while she waited in the sitting
room. I had just come back with some of
the items in my hand when she smiled and
said “you boys and bad bad films. See the
kain film you dey watch”. I turned and
stared at the tv, they were showing an
erotic scene explicitly. I smiled and
apologized, then walked towards the tv to
turn it off when she said “are you a kid?
you can watch anything you want”. I
obliged her and replied “yes. but I no wan
make konji hold me later”. She laughed and
asked me how it could be when I have a lot
of girlfriends.
Then went on “e be like say you sabi, i dey
hear them dey shout sometimes”. I couldn’t
believe what is happening. I couldn’t
believe that I am having this conversation
with this woman. She’s hitting on me


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