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••••••• written by horluwa~p1 •••••••
Like a sun stroll out from its abode to welcome the new day, she came into our small church of small gathering, her steps were glamourous as she put on a smile that would have made a mosquito repent from sucking blood, little did I know that the devil had just succeeded in sending me a well packaged gift.
” brethren, praise the lord ” I said halting what I was saying at that moment as I watched her made her way to one of the numerous chairs in the church.
The attendance of chairs in my church has been on the lead compare to humans ever since a pastor came to our church and donated the old plastic chairs they’re using in his church before they changed them to new ones , telling us that it was the lord that ordered him to do so, but the lord should have also informed him that we need not the chairs because of our size . We even had to tuck in some of the chairs into themselves in order to allow for space inside the church.
” hallelujah ” my colleagues replied not standing from where they’re sitting.
I swiftly stole a glance at the definition of beauty that had just graced our service with her presence.
She was sitting at the back seat and no one seems to take notice of her.
I swiftly averted my gaze as almost made eye contact.
” the spirit is moving, yes , I can feel them ” I said with more enthusiasm shutting my eye but not tightly so that I could be able to peep at her.
” holy, yes, hallelujah ” the sound echoed out of the member’s mouth as they all stood up with their eye shut as they started waving their hands.
I took my glasses off, cleaned the lens with my handkerchief and returned it to my face.
” praise the lord ” I said after some minutes after few sessions of the holy spirit moment, where we speak in tongues and those without the gift will just render praise songs.
” you maybe seated ” I said to them and they all had their seat but I notice the lady didn’t stood up nor did she seemed to be interested in whatever we’re doing, and to be honest, I was trying to impress her with the holy spirit session I swiftly dive in.
” and that was how the devil through Jezebel, took over Naboth’s vineyard ” I continued with my preaching from where I had stopped earlier before the little distraction set in.
I noticed the change in the girl’s emotion as she swiftly raised her head up to stare at me and with a smirk she lowered her head but she seemed to be worried as she glanced through her surrounding.
” brethren, don’t allow the devil to dictate over your life, what he’s got for you is destruction only, nothing else, he will trick you and when it’s time for you to face the consequences, he’s gonna dust his slippers and flee away from thee and you’ll suffer for it for the rest of your life ” I said pausing for a while.
” someone should please open the bible to John 10:10, I need a fast reader please ” I said as I flip through my bible
” The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. ” Cynthia stood up to read the bible passage to me.
” who’s the thief “? I asked
” the devil ” they answered in a chorus.
” you’re right, he’s a thief, murderer, manipulator, evil implementor, and so on, we’ve got to be in the lord every time so that he won’t be able to get near us and remember to always be with your sword (bible), studying it at all time so that you’ll know how to use it rightfully with its manual ” I paused for a while to steal a glance at the girl, she seemed to be more worried now as she kept on staring at her back.
The members has already started noticing her now as I caught brother Paul also stealing a glance at her.
I decided to round up my preaching so as to call the new worshipers to the pupit and pray for them and also to get her details tho it wasn’t my work, that’s the duty of brother Collins, but Collins is a funny being, he always forget about this duty when we’ve got a male new comer, but when we’ve got a sexy female new comer, he will suddenly remember that he’s got it as his duty to document their details.
” rise up and let’s pray ” I ordered them and they all stood up except the lady as I gave out few prayer points before I finally pray.
” in Jesus name I pray ” I said after the conclusion of my prayer.
” amen ” they chorus
I opened my eye to meet a shock, the lady had already disappeared.
I glanced through the members but she’s really gone.
I came down from the pulpit as I head to one of the empty chairs, knelt down in front of it as I shut my eye to render short prayer and of course, receive the member’s prayer as usual.
” let stretch our hands and pray for our brother that the lord has used to deliver this wonderful and great message” I heard pastor Michael said.
Pastor Michael is our student’s pastor in the church, he was also a student of UNILAG but he’s already through with his four years course, but was already over thirty before he completed it so was excluded from the NYSC program.
Luckily for him, he’s already established himself as a fashion designer before he completed his course outside of the school, he’s already got a lot of customers from the school and his neighborhood, so instead of seeking for a white collar job, he expand his shop and focused fully in his fashion designing. And because of his past commitment to the church, we made him our pastor.
” let share the grace ” Pastor Michael said as we brought the service to an halt.
” that was a powerful ministration ” pastor Michael said to me as he shook hand with me.
” you flatter me, thanks for giving me the opportunity to minister ” I appreciated him.
” thank the lord brother Ben and I allowed you to minister because of your competence, you’re a rare jewel, keep it up ” he accolade me before he left me to meet Susan and Precious.
” pastor Ben ” Samuel said playfully as he wrapped his hand around my shoulder.
Samuel is one of my roommates , we’re four in my room but Lekan and Usman belong to the Islamic religion, something my mom mustn’t know about.
” na you dash me ” I said taking off his hand from my shoulder.
” na your mama dash you na ” he replied humorously. I made a feeble attempt to hit him and he swiftly held my hand as we both started laughing.
” S² S² ” I called in an hysterical manner.
S² was Samuel’s nickname gotten from his surname and first name ( Samson Samuel).
” why are you calling my name like that ” he asked trying to avoid an eye contact with me .
Samuel was just from a Christian family, nothing else,you can hardly find him going to church except he’s got a girl he’s or trying to get her attention
” I know you na” I said smiling.
” Leeme alone joor, someone cannot come to church in peace again” he replied smiling.
” Come to church in peace indeed” I said snotting.
” help me snap pic joor ” I added making an attempt to give him my small Infinix hot 6 which I received as a birthday gift from my dad tho it’s T&C applied.
” let me just pity your destiny ” he said collecting the phone from my hand.
I walked towards the pulpit to pose for the shot.
” take, I’m coming ” I heard someone said in a rush.
I turned and Samuel swiftly chipped my phone into my hand as he chased after sister Chioma who was about to leave the church.
” this guy self, I knew it ” I said smiling as I watched him engaged in chat with Chioma as they both exit the church.
I clicked my phone to life as I switched the camera on and placed it in selfie mode, then posed in front of the pulpit, making sure my bible was in view as I took the shots.
I decided to upload them when I get to my room.
I looked around and the church was already empty.
I wondered where pastor Michael had gone to as I left the church.
As I got outside, I saw him talking with Susan and Precious.
” good night pastor ” I greeted as I walked pass them.
” oh, good night brother Ben, I’ll chat you up on WhatsApp ” he replied giving me a thumbs up.
” haba Ben, you won’t wait for me abi ” Precious said catching up with me.
” I didn’t want to disturb your conversation with pastor na ” I retorted in my defense.
” we’re just talking about ways to improve the choirs performance ” she said looking at me.
” I didn’t ask ” I replied with a smirk.
” you’re not serious ” she said smiling as she playfully hit me on my shoulder.
Precious is my bestie, funny and extremely crazy, she started attending my church because she wanted to get my attention, we became best friend when I told her I wasn’t ready for any relationship and since then, we’ve been really doing great tho I knew she’s still got tons of feelings for me as her eye portrayed it every time she look at me.
” you’re now gradually turning into pastor ” she said still smiling.
” it’s not only pastor, it’s father ” I replied laughing.
” hahahahah ” she bursted into laughter.
” if you turn to father with all this your cuteness,all the sisters will just be raping you everyday ” she said laughing.
” I will later exchange you with a sachet of water ” I said laughing.
” did you notice one girl that came in when I was ministering ” I asked her remembering the girl that came in.
” which girl ” she replied my question with another question like a typical Nigerian will do.
” forget it ” I said trying to close the chapter.
” forget what ” she said slightly raising her voice.
” pastor Ben don dey sight girl in front of pulpit oo” she said bursting into laughter.
” I’ll murder you in the end ” I said humorously.
” not after I’ve killed you ” she retorted.
” just go and fall for any girl without my approval, I’ll cut off that your small pinpin under you ” she said directing her gaze to my short arena.
” see as you’re belittling my mighty rod of Moses ” I retorted with a smile.
” your small mighty rod of moses na ” she said laughing.
I was about to reply her when my phone suddenly vibrated alerting me of a message that has gotten into it.
I clicked it back to life and saw that the message was a WhatsApp message from Usman, one of my roommates, and it goes thus
” dude, your mama don they around oo, better come fast.
” what ” I exclaimed after reading the message as I adjusted my eyeglasses .
” what ” Precious asked me.
” Usman said my mom is around ” I replied her.
” what ” she also exclaimed.
” at this time ” she asked looking perplexed.
” or could it be one of there numerous pranks ” she added still looking perplexed.
” guy serious na, no dey use this kind thing joke with me ” I replied Usman message.
” I’m serious ” he swiftly reply with a picture of my mom which he must have secretly took attached to the message.
I showed it to precious.
” here comes trouble ” Precious said smiling.
” hope your cover hasn’t blow ” I asked Usman.
” yeah, but get here ASAP, she’s already doing bible interview for me and Lekan and Samuel aren’t around, so I’m the only one faced with all the questions.
” 😂, I’m on my way bro ” I replied him.
” please be oo, before she asked me who’s the grandfather of the mother that gave birth to the great grandmother of Mary and I’ll reply her that it’s prophet Musa ” he messaged again and I bursted into laughter after reading it.
Precious collected my phone to see the reason I was laughing and also bursted into laughter upon reading it too.
” this guy is spiritually sick ” Precious said laughing as she returned my phone to me.
Let hasten our movement before she find out that he’s not a christian.
We got to the road and flagged down a motorcycle but I did a mistake I’ve been avoiding for a long time.
I was staying off campus, same as Precious and coincidentally, we’re both staying in the same neighborhood. So every time we’re going home directly from church, we always board the same bike and I always make sure to climb the bike first before she do because she’s bountifully endowed with her barca, and I won’t risk getting an erection sitting behind her.
Tho she always complain about this at first but when I seemed unyielding, she gave up on it.
But because of how unsettling my mind had become, I forgot to sit before her and sat behind her.
I saw that she’s giggling awkwardly as we embarked on the journey but my brain refused to let me in on what’s happening.
The reality finally dawn on me when the bike suddenly had a brush with gallop and this action lifted Precious up and placed her directly on my lap. Her a** was having slight contact with my small pinpin as she called it earlier.
That was when my brain signal to me what I’ve missed.
” shit ” I muttered almost in a whispered .
I thought she heard me as she turned to look at me and let out a wide smile before she embarked to punish me more .
She started wiggling her waist in a slow motion manner on the bike, making sure it’s having huge contact with my small pinpin.
I shut my eye as I tried get control of all the muscles in my body especially the one in my pinpin, so that I won’t have an erection but after few minutes, the spirit was willing but the flesh was not.
I felt my pinpin started increasing its size and that was when I knew there’s fire on the mountain.
I tried to distract my thought by glancing through the bible verses in my head.
” Psalm 23 *for god so love the world that he gave his only begotten son * no no ” my mind couldn’t focus as I kept getting all the bible verses wrong.
I knew Precious was enjoying the punishment she’s melting unto me as she carried on a wicked smile on her lip.
Finally we’re few meters away from my house.
” owaa ” I said and the bike stopped.
I wouldn’t risk stopping the bike in front of my house with Precious sitting in my front.
If my mom should see me, she’s gonna roast me alive without caring for explanation.
Precious house was few meters away from my place, so she didn’t get down.
I paid the bike man one hundred naira to settle for the two of us.
Precious was laughing as I settled the bike man and I tried to avoid eye contact with her.
” only God knows how you’re gonna explain to your mom how you came back from church with your mighty rod of Moses pointing hard at the red sea ” Precious said as the bike was About to take off with a wicked laughter.
After the bike had left, I stared down at my short arena and saw that my rod was very hard, and it was very much in view as I was putting on a fitted trouser.
I brought my bible down to the side to cover it as I walked down to my house to meet the nightmare waiting for me.
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