EXAM RUSH … Part 1

The last paper had been scheduled for the upper week, and it was Dr. Belgam’s course. And because he was a very strict man, we all gots to cram everything crammable. Plus, the course was a 5 unit course. Four of us, we were course mates living inside the same lodge. We had gathered to deliberate on how we were going to face the exam. Me, Precious, Isoken, and the girl, Amina.

Precious: I didn’t finish the last paper we took. So I wouldn’t want to dull on this one we are going to write.
Amina: Me too. I left two questions for them to finish for me.
Precious: So, make una talk as how we go use murder this paper.
Isoken: Are you tired of carrying your notebook inside the exam hall?

Precious: Omo, leave matter. Shebi e never happen to you that after smuggling foreign materials into the exam hall, you won’t even know which answer to lift from your notebook.
Me: Make we do FBI for this paper na.

Amina: As in we should arrest the lecturer bah? And force out the answers from him…
Isoken: Which kain suggestion be that one na?
Precious: Abeg na serious matter we de talk for here.
Me: Not kidnapping the lecturer, fools. The man has a son that lives with him. Why don’t we find a way to make him leak the question paper to us?

There was silence for a minute as the idea was being digested by them
Isoken: That go make sense o.
Amina: True, but how are we going to do that? What if he reports us to his dad? Then, there won’t be any exam for us.
Precious: This Amina sef. You sabi fear fear.

Amina: No be fear fear matter.
Precious: Be optimistic for once.
Isoken: I know the guy. I don’t think he can report us. He’s a student as well. He might just ask us for money.
Me: Even if he reports us, we’ll follow Plan B and find a way to exonerate ourselves.
Amina: Ok, fine. Supposing he won’t report us, how are we going to approach him with this request? We will just walk up to him and say hey help us with a copy of your father’s question paper….how nice.

Precious: Who said anything about us approaching him? Amina think with your brain for once, and not with your genitals. Don’t you watch all these detective movies and see how they get information from people?

Me: Preach it bro, preach it!
Precious: So you see, instead of all of us barging in on him, one of us will have to do it. He’s a guy and it works well between a guy and a girl.
Amina: Don’t even go there. Planner.
Isoken: Amina, you’re the only girl here. So be a soldier and take this one for the team.
Amina: And how am I supposed to cajole him into giving me the paper? Does he even have access to his father’s stuff?

Me: Nawaoo. Amina, you’re asking us how you go use cajole him abi? No worry, very soon you go come ask us how you go use suck your boyfriend’s prick. Na everything we go tell you abi.
Precious: The same way you use make your boyfriend buy you generator and home theatre, use the same formular on the lecturer’s son and I bet you, he will be supplying us all the exam question papers till we graduate.

Amina: E don do abeg. My boyfriend don enter the matter abi. Fine, I’ll do it.
Isoken: You be my real realest. That’s why I like you.
Precious: That aside, Amibaby, wetin you cook?
Amina: Make I no use my eyes see any of una legs inside my room o. After planning to send me to go do ashawo work for una, una still wan come eat my food. Make una park well joor.


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