“I am sorry Kevwe…I was helpless to
stop him and even more helpless not to
enjoy it…..he never said a word to me
but he seemed to know the right
buttons to push…..I enjoyed it so much
that I haven’t been able to free myself
from the thoughts.” I said pausing to
wipe the tears again.
“Noms..baby…” Kevwe called me by his
pet name for me ‘Noms’ which was a
short for my name and I knew he
understood, he wasn’t angry anymore
but still I had to come totally clean. He
tried to say something but I cut him off.
“I’m not done, Kevwe, please let me
confess and get it all off me…. I wanted
to tell you when you got back the next
day but didn’t know how to without
“Upsetting me? You were the one who
was raped,” he reminded.
“I don’t know if that’s what to call it
since my body wanted it, I wanted it….
I couldn’t get it off my mind for two
weeks so I came up with a foolish idea
that if you f—-d me just as hard I
would forget about the incident…..no
offense to you Kevwe, you are a good
lover but you don’t last long enough for
me to reach fulfilment…….”
“What?…. but you are…”
“Baby please let me finish before you
begin…. I will give you enough time to
tell me what you think about my
despicable actions but please let me
finish…..I asked Abby to help me with
something that would boost your
performance and …..”
“So you went to Abby, but you couldn’t
talk to me?” He asked, his frown
returning and I saw he hated the idea
that I had talked to my friend about
this instead of him.
“I didn’t tell her I was raped, just that I
needed a performance enhancement
pill for you.” I tried to explain but it
made it worse,
“Jeez, so you carried our sex life to your
friend?…. That’s something I’m not
comfortable with Onome…. I don’t like
being discussed by you and your
“It wasn’t like that Rukevwe, I just
needed her professional help.”
“Like hell you did.” He scoffed.
“Wait, I told you I was raped…by a
stranger and you freak out because I
told my friend who is a pharmacist that
I needed a pill?”
“A pill because I can’t seem it get it
up…. you should have come to me.
Besides what are you saying about my
performance when you are the one
with excuses everytime I try to touch
you? It’s either you are tired or busy
and whenever I manage to get you, I
have to hurry it up because you are
almost unresponsive and in a hurry to
sleep or work.”
Opening my mouth I meant to say
something but I couldn’t, he was right.
We had been married for almost a year
now and I had never known any man
before him, I had never given him free
rein over my body because I had
believed there wasn’t much to enjoy in
I sighed now looking at him and
knowing he was right. “Yeah I should
have come to you, I am sorry.”
“You should be sorry! What were you
thinking going to Abby? Now she would
believe I am one of those men with
erectile dysfunction or something.”
I bit my lip as I recalled she had asked
me the same thing.
“You probably think I have that, don’t
“What? No…” Kevwe was a virile man
and got turned on easily, some times
even too easily. “You get it up, it just
“It doesn’t last?” He asked quietly
holding my gaze for a moment before
he gestured for me to get up. “Get up
on your feet, Onome.”
“What?” I tried to ask when he reached
down and dragged me up none too
Reaching for my shirt, he tore it open,
its buttons scattering about the floor. I
became quite scared as I had never
seen him this way before but I didn’t
stop him. I trusted him enough to know
he would never hurt me.
Unzipping my skirt
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